samanthamehmi said: I will teach you to read the cards- and you should publish your book. Could you do it under a pseudonym? Like “a memoir by a former addict”
Great! I’ll catch a plane to Wellington tomorrow so you can teach me :)
The pseudonym thing is tricky. It can be done, but it makes it really difficult to promote the book, meaning sales won’t be good. If I want to make money from my memoir (which, of course, I do), then I need to be able to front up for interviews (on TV, radio, in newspapers etc), and probably travel across the country doing book signings etc.
I have goals in life that require money, and I have dreams in life that are unlikely to make me much money. Everyone at writers’ group has told me that writing books is not exactly a viable career option. Apparently, non-fiction sells well in NZ, which is good because I’m writing a memoir, but it’s also bad because my mentor and my husband and my parents all think I should write it as a novel.
Basically I have three options.
- I can write my memoir and label it a memoir and I might make some money but I will definitely have to live with the fact that my past might come back to bite me in the ass. It could also affect my children as they grow up. Do I really want that?
- I can write my memoir and label it a novel and I will struggle to get it published. If it does go to print I probably won’t make much from it, which means I’m likely to feel like all I’ve done is wasted hours and hours and hours of my life. I already know I don’t want that.
- I can forget about writing my book for now and focus on getting a “career”. Because I have a graduate degree I can actually become a qualified teacher after only a year of full-time study. If I do ECE then I can get a job with family-friendly hours, without having to worry about lesson plans and writing reports like I would if I was a “proper” teacher. I would earn a decent salary, and be able to start working towards achieving some of my goals - like taking the kids to Disneyland…
I guess I’m leaning towards option three, though I don’t want to just turn my back on writing - especially considering I got accepted onto the NZ Society of Authors’ mentorship programme without even having a full manuscript, and the poem I entered in an international competition earlier this year was one of only 20 out of 654 entries that received a commendation from the judge. I dunno. Stuff like that makes me think I need to be writing, but the thought of pouring my heart and soul into something and getting nothing in return makes me want to cry. Then again, the thought of publishing a memoir and upsetting a bunch of people and then having everyone know everything about me also makes me want to cry.
I don’t know what to do.
I feel like maybe the book needs to wait. I told my mentor that I envision the whole thing taking five years, but even that feels like it might be too soon. Hmm. Perhaps the solution is to finally teach myself to read the two decks of tarot cards I have sitting on a dusty shelf, and use them to find some answers?
Yeah, probably not.
Fern - The People
I’m now world famous in NZ if you like the Greens and visit their website and scroll quite a way down the “reasons” page.
buddyandalex said: What Is your legal name right now?! I have always wondered this For the record I love Fern
My given name is Anita Mary.
I’ll change it to Fern with no middle name, which is kind of a shame because Mary is my grandmother’s name, but I don’t think Fern Mary works.
The weatherman predicts a weekend of rain. May as well stay inside and get stuck into some paper work…
We are officially getting chickens! Won an auction for a free-range chicken coop. I have been waiting my entire life for this. Outdoor pets that will eat our veggie scraps and reward us with fresh eggs? Yes please!
"You should be angry. You must not be bitter. Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. It doesn’t do anything to the object of its displeasure. So use that anger. You write it. You paint it. You dance it. You march it. You vote it. You do everything about it. You talk it. Never stop talking it."
This little cutie is losing her BFF to school today. I get the feeling that kindy is not going to be the same from here on in…
This morning I got up early and got all the kids ready and we made it to school by 8am. Considering we usually leave the house at 8:30 (or later) this is kind of a big deal.
I spent my morning learning the ropes so that I can run the Breakfast Club every Wednesday morning. The club is open to all children at Briar’s school who are missing out on food at home. I’m really excited to be helping out.
The food is really basic. Sanitarium donates Weetbix and Anchor donates UHT milk. The kids get milos if/when milo is donated, and they sometimes get toast, again only if bread is donated, but there isn’t even a toaster - we have to borrow one from the staff room.
Tomorrow morning is my first official shift, so I’ve already got a shopping bag together with bread, jam, and honey to take along. I’m also thinking I’ll look out for a cheap toaster that I could donate, just to make things a bit easier. Once summer kicks in and our plum tree starts producing, I’ll take fresh fruit in for the kids too. I think it’s really important that we all begin looking at ways to make a positive difference in our own communities.